A letter to My 18-year-old Self
I am quite the
daydreamer and often think of how much I have changed since my teens. I don't
think I know the teenage me anymore. Of course, I could blame it on maturity,
ageing, and life. But I wish I could meet her aka my teenage self, and tell
that it's okay. She will make it, survive and find her niche. That, it's okay
if she isn't the best. Not everyone can be that. People need to be average too,
but they need to be really good at being average.
Dear Nikki,
Yes, you will
hear this version of your name more often, thanks to the 'now' husband.
Now don't panic.
Things are really okay, good even. You have achieved a few things, lost many
but you have survived. As I write to you, I hope you read this piece at least
twice over as things may not sound like the stuff you'd planned to do. Nope,
there has been no murder yet though the temptation is strong. You haven't been
implicated in any crime too. Congratulations on that 😉!
Jokes apart,
let's discuss the serious stuff. You are 18. It's a beautiful time. I love the
fact that you are in a place that's going to shape your future even though you
have no clue right now. It is going to make you stronger, more resilient, and
super bitchy. Yes, these are the magic ingredients that are going to help you
sail through the turbulent 20s. The reality is that not many people are going
to like you, and this is okay. As long as you learn to make peace with this
fact (will take a long time coming), everything will be fine. You have always
been intuitive and stick to this-this is your golden snitch. It is this
intuition that's going to keep you sane and help you make the right decision even
with a lot of opposition. Stick to your gun always. Go by your gut instinct and
always believe in yourself.
Life is what you
make of it. People will advise, especially the parents. The mothership will
try, probe, and even emotionally blackmail. But no, don't give in. At 33, I
pride myself to have made a life without listening to what my mother says, and
it's safe to say, I have carved my own niche.
Right now, you
may think you are in love, but it is far from it. The current idiot you are
dating doesn't deserve you from miles away. Don't fall for his crocodile tears
or for the lack of them. He is dumb, and you are not. If you think this is the
end of the road, yeah, it is for this relationship. But there are other roads
to explore!
A word of
caution – you can cry as loud as you want. Stomp your feet. Break things.
Shout. But never settle for anything less than you deserve (especially this
boy). Each time you have to make a decision, you are going to doubt yourself.
It is fine. Self-doubt is good. It also means that you gotta do what you gotta
do. Continue to read books, buy them for yourself. Buy as many shoes as you
want. Dress up; wear that lipstick, flaunt those legs. You are who you want to
be. Most importantly, speak your mind. I cannot tell you how much lighter I
feel now when I say what I say and how I say it.
And if you can't
bring yourself to trust anyone right now, it is cool. In a few years, you'll
meet someone who loves you for your craziness. He will want you as you are –
weird, wild, vagabond. That's the guy you want to spend your life with!
Be fiercely loyal
to your few friends. It doesn't matter if you are not in touch or if they seem
different to you right now. They have your back. All it takes is a phone call,
and yes, you will have to make the first call. Take risks, change jobs.
Experience everything. Drink, get drunk. Dance the night away. In your many
years until 33, there are hardships, lots of tears, loss of life, lots of love,
travel, upheavals, sleepless nights, fights, and so much more. But you are
going to survive it all. And the best part, you are going to learn from all of
it!
So, at 18, if
you think you are lost, it is okay. We all are. What's even the fun of arriving
at your said destiny so soon? Trust me (like you have any other option 😐), the struggles make it all
the more worthy. As I pen my last few words to you, I'll say – hang in there.
The answers will come to you. You have got to have your own back. Love
wholeheartedly, hate fiercely too. Guard your heart and protect your friends.
You are good hands – Yours!
Yours sincerely,
Older Me.
Ha Ha Ha. Lovely article.
ReplyDeleteLoved it! : ) Relatable...
ReplyDeleteAn old friend.