Please Don’t Die…

I came across a real smart blog post here: Talpita’s Why politicians don’t commit suicide?
And I call this post smart because it got me thinking. It is indeed a thought provoking ‘thought’ that raises many questions [so many that it makes me want to write about it immediately!].

Now politicians are a unique breed. Something like the mushrooms which grow from within the earth that has bodies buried. And literally, politicians seem to thrive on dead bodies. So a politician, my dear readers, is unique because however much the world around them deteriorates, they continue to thrive. They are like CEOs of sinking companies who end up making tonnes of money. How? Simply by sucking the blood of the people who are forced into voting for them and to these same people, politicians promise ‘promises’ year after year which of course are in vain. Do you now know where the phrase, “Promises are meant to be broken” come from?

Well, it doesn’t end at broken promises but it definitely begins at the huge amounts of money they dream of making while they are at it. Take for example, Miss Mayawati, the way in which she has accumulated wealth, built statues and aspires to be the prime minister of our country, makes her the most eligible spinster, doesn’t it?

And to get to such a position, one requires huge aspirations at the cost of anything and when I say anything, it does mean anything and everything. In short, she doesn’t care two hoots about the same villagers who vote for her. It doesn’t matter to her if the poor are paid peanuts for the piece of land she wishes to acquire for her personal regard. And if she weren’t Mayawati she would have paid through her nose to buy it.

And coming westward, our very own lion or tiger [I am not sure which animal, as both might be extinct in the near future] is not very far behind. There are no statues yet [Or I have missed them!] but there is a fortress nevertheless. So if the tiger or lion asks you to growl, growl you shall. If he mewls, mewl you will! Not other dialect please! Else you will be imposing on him which he of course cannot tolerate.

So I guess, our very diverse India has many such breeds of politicians who in turn are unique in their own respective lairs, who continue to live their lives king-size while the common voting man who hopes [the ever hopeful man!] for some respite. But, man will continue to carry the burden of the lavish lifestyles of the so-called politicos or better called, ‘netas’ who continue to bury the common man further into the ground!

Being alive and kicking they cause us so much grievance, imagine them being dead? Whoa…dreadful thought! No, not because we love them but because of the collateral damage that will ensue. States will be shut down and in order to bring it to an immediate halt; shops, cars, homes and the same voting banks will be looted, beaten up and burnt. More drama. Truckloads of flowers will be wasted. Streets would be flooded with people, who apparently have come to pay their last respects. The police force, the Para-military and God knows who would be involved to keep the devotees at bay. Death anniversaries will be declared holidays. News channels will waste precious public time to screen the tributes and perfectly practiced speeches.

But it definitely makes or huge amounts of fodder for the print and TV. But let’s not let this happen please! Why? Because they are politicians? Hell no! Because we are the ones who end up paying for all of this tamasha; flowers and statues, and blah!

So please don’t die, Mr/Ms. Politician!!! Spare us some money…troubled times ahead!


  1. Hahaha...loved this one...politicians better not die as easily as they come up...

  2. @Lost_scotoma

    Oh yes please don't! Nahi toh sara paise tax mein hee jayega!

  3. LOL.. Don't worry no mass bomb blast, terrorist attack has ever killed any politician (ignoring the rajiv Gandhi and indira Gandhi episode) they are the immortal soul of our nation.. they will thrive to suck all our blood in the name of tax..

  4. Good one... thought provoking... and while you're at it you might even want to mention Kerala's and Bengal's 'forward-thinking' communists, or even Tamil Nadu's Jayalalitha and Karunanidhi... hehe...

  5. Damn no rang de style assassinations either? We r running out of options to deal with this menace. Lol. Well put though.

  6. Itna jaldi nahi marenge.

  7. Looks like it is no longer a question of life and death (their life and their death). Considering this post it is quite scary to see a fast approaching no-solution to this politician problem

  8. @Saurangshu

    The Gandhis were the unfortunate ones! And these days the politicos are cockroaches. I doubt a nuclear explosion would kill them!


    I would but the post was getting to be too long! Next time pal!


    Yeah no assassination! Pata nahi unke baad kaun aayega - its like the way the Taliban toppled the Soviet forces and see what they have done!

  9. @SSD

    Haan hamari aisi kismat kahan!


    When was there a solution?

  10. i wud only request them one thing, please don't take birth dear politicians...that wud save us lesser mortals a whole lotta trouble!

  11. @Adee

    Yaar it is the lesser mortals who become the politicians na?

  12. LOL!!!especially about mayawati what you said was too good...haha

  13. so well said and the heading made me come to your page with a totally different kind of mindset, and then had a good laugh!! whos the man in the profile pic?

  14. @Rashmi



    The man in the pic is my man! My fiancé :)

  15. You have a beautiful blog and it is of my opinion that dun't give importance to those politicians. I am glad to know after a long time you hit my blog :):)

  16. @Deepak Acharya

    Thanks for dropping by! :)

  17. Hey, who says mayawati is conceited and doesnt care abt animals... She did built statues of elephants .. just the head was hers ;-)

    funny post :-)

  18. Wonderful post! Reminds of that joke when they find an overturned bus on the highway, and see a guy digging & covering earth nearby.

    "What happened?"

    "Oh, bus accident. Had politicians in it. But no worries, I buried them all."

    "Oh my, all dead?"

    "No, a few protested, but you know how politicians lie, huh?"

    Lovely blog; will return for sure.

  19. Nice post !

    Sometimes we think, how can anyone be sooo selfish ? how can human being suck other's blood for money & power.. Your post expressed this in nice way.

  20. @eye_in_sty_in

    Yeah it is funny for sure...


    Wish someone did that in real life!



  21. LOL...being politically correct seems 2 be out of fashion ;)

  22. Most of the Politicians are working hard day and night to loot the people and a very few are trying to protect goodwill. We need a few more to protect. And the likes of Mayawati need to be beheaded.

  23. :) to commit suicide either one need to feel loss of pride, honor or hope to never get back.. and our politicians has none..

    but they are some..


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