[confessions of a derelict mind]
I sit at the edge to watch the once empty tub being filled. The water seems to have a mind of its own, seeping into every little cranny. It seems to keep me waiting. And waiting some more. The levels rise slowly. Slowly spreading all over to cover every little space inside the tub.
The tub is sparkling white, ceramic and cold. Every ripple is visible. The dent caused by the gushing tap is visible. The subtle yellow of the light bulb is visible. But my reflection seems to be lost. The sound of the water drown my weeping heart. Vapours rise. They rise above the tub to permeate in the chill of the bathroom. I step into the hot, almost scalding water. I sit first and rest my face on my knees as the chill within me thaws. The gushing stops as the tap is shut.
I stretch my legs and lower myself into the water. The mirror on the wall is foggy. My reflection has walked out on me. The water is lies still and me too. I can see it running over my body to cover every crevice and curve. I see my feet and they seem to float. They feel light.
My body seems to have lost its 'not so' perfect shape. The skin on my feet and hands are white and crumpled. Gnarled, like an old lady. I wonder if the skin will peel if I try. I sit and stare at nothing. I have lost track of time.
The water has gone cold. I have lost track of time. My hair is wet, entangled and messy. But it smells good. Like drops of water slipping out from the strangs of hair, its time for me to let go. The water needs to be drained like my heart. I open the socket and the once still water, starts whirling. I can hear the gushing sound again and it drowns the pleas of my weeping soul. The water is fast seeping through the opening. I try to hold it back. The gushing sound is low and I cant hold back. It has to go.
The whirlpool gets smaller and smaller as the levels fall. Finally, the tub is empty. The fog is fading. The water droplets on my body have dried almost. I feel good. The hot water did me good.
My wait is finally over and my reflection in the mirror looks good.