Sunday, 17 January 2010

Fate

The buzzing of the fly resonates in my ear like someone was beating a drum. The silence is loud in a way I had never imagined before. The distant skyline was all pink with a hint crimson just a while ago but now it seems all deathly grey and pale. Such is the colour that it reminds me of a face. A face that has long lost its charm. But a face that might have looked better when it grew old. The lovely jaw structure would have softened by then, fine lines shaping the face at the corners and crinks around the eyes indicating a life well spent.


But then not all faces have that liberty, do they? No. Life always has plans of its own. However much we plan, make plans and vow that we would do so and so...life's plans triumph at the end. I remember the time when I was a child. My ma used to say look carefully before you cross! I did, I always did. But Barney my older brother always laughed. He called me names.


He told me that he had plans and that his plans were indispensable. I believed him. But fate did not. One evening while we were crossing roads I approached the road slowly like I always did. He called me names that day too and I could only stare back. For an instant I thought he was right. Ma was being silly. I had plans for myself and they would materialize just like Barney's.


For Barney though...lady luck ditched him that day. I remember the exact details; there was a loud crash, some screeching tyres and a bloody lifeless body. I just stood there motionless. What happened next was chaos. Ma did not cry so din't I. 


I stopped believing in plans from that day onwards. Good thing. Like Larry says as Life had better plans for me anyways. I loved heights and that is what Larry said was Life's plan for me. It was easy for me. I could look from far up above. After every assignment I sat and did the same. I stared at the skyline. The colours in the setting sun, or the rising dusk or morning reminded me of faces. Of faces I brought up with me to high rises. Of faces I would sit and think of when I left alone. I never cried. I never complained. Nobody ever asked me anything ever and I gave no answers. 


Life should have taught Barney never to call people names. He would have been alive today then and I would not have any blood on my hands and would not look for faces in the skyline. 
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