Saturday, 18 July 2009

To the electric chair!

I am taking the cue from Seraphic Girl. I have a strong hatred for the electric chair. Okay its the not same the executioner uses but it is similar. I think this is the best way to describe one's visit to the Dentist.

My family has a history I think. Or maybe we are just blessed with not-so-perfect teeth. Don't get me wrong, I have mine intact. But to get over the milk teeth phase, I had to face the electric chair many a times. I loved chocolate. I still do but had to pay a heavy price. Lets call the man behind the chair Dr. D. Good looking, very qualified and everything you would want your dentist to be.

Wrong. Yeah, wrong. Why? Because he took his own sweet time to work upon your teeth. He would use more than five gloves while you sat open mouth on that electric chair with that spot lite-like light staring at you! He would wash his hands god knows how many times. I know hygiene is of utmost importance but when you are sitting there with your mouth open, you just want to get done with it and flee.

At least I wanted to. The first time I went to him I was six. Yes only six and had nine teeth extracted. Lets not get into that ok? The next time I met him, I was 13 and had two root canals to be taken care off. Then began my drudgery. He would work upon my teeth for hours. I remember sitting there for four hours at a stretch with my mouth open and hurting.

"If it hurts too much, raise your hand ok?", said Dr. D. How considerate! But I don't think he would look at my forever raised hand at all. I remember him showing me the pins he was going to shove into my gums. He spoke to me at length about them. Which ones are good and why he was doing so. And all this while he never used aneasthesia! If I cried out, which I did once or twice, he would ask me to learn Karate. Why? I was baffled by this suggestion then.

"Because my dear you are timid!," said Dr.D. Timid my foot! Pins and gums don't make a comfortable combination. But whatever. I stopped going thereafter. My teeth are ok now. No pain. But I ain't visiting a Dr. D again!

So I leave you guys with this poem by Philip Lore-

I hate the Dentist Chair

Moaning and groaning, hitting the roof,
Unbearable
pain, I've got a bad tooth.
Nothing I take can ease the pain,
Not ice packs or aspirin...I'm going insane.

Relentless throbbing deep in my jaw,
At the end of my string, I head for the
door.
Sweat covers my face, soaks my hair,
My body shakes, I'm filled with despair

Waiting to see the dentist,
I hold in my fear,
Sharp pains pulsating,
My eyes starting to tear.
Holding my chin,
Running my fingers through my hair,
I fidget,
I cringe,
Thinking of the dentist chair.

He tries to hide the needle,
That will make my face so numb,
The dentist thinks he fooled me,
Does he think I'm that dumb?

I feel him
drill at a merciless pace,
Oh God, bits and pieces hitting my face.
Smoke rises up, he continues to drill,
I begin to squirm, I can't sit still.

My eyes open wide, they flutter in pain,
Another big needle filled with novacaine.
My face gets numb,
Can't feel my nose,
Feel so uptight,
I Scrunch my toes.

He packs my jaw,
With wads of cotton,
Taste my blood,
Breath smells rotten.

With rubbery legs,
Sore finger tips,
I try to speak,
What's wrong with my lips?

Saliva dripping, down my chin,
I sound so silly, I begin to grin.

So I give you this message,
Believe me...It's true...
Don't eat candy...
Cause this will happen to you!


[Hmmmfff...somebody should have warned me!]


20 comments:

Iggy said...

Ouch!

Nikki said...

@ Iggy

Lolz. Totally OUCH!

R. Ramesh said...

brilliant one..ya me 2 wish had read this when i was a child..had visited dentists more than GPs..btter late than never..lemme protect my german capping..

As the Mind Meanders said...

My dentist had bad teeth :-(

Arv said...

few visits for normal check up and I still dread the day I had to visit for something worse :P

Julia Smith said...

LOL at the poem, Nikki! I don't have the same distress going to the dentist. At one point, I did have a little - when I had no dental coverage and had to pay 100%. Now I've got coverage again. Yay!

Hope your future dental visits are few and far between.

As for what I've been up to...check out my posts for last week. I was talking a long stroll down Memory Lane.

blunt edges said...

whoaaaaaaa...9 teeth extracted wen u were 6?!?! do u hv any of ur originals ones left??? :o

both d post n d poem were cute :D

wonderin aloud: how do such a huge number of ppl choose a vocation dat involves diggin into other ppl's mouths? yucks!

d gypsy! said...

hey, that poem we had in svnth stndrd i guess


wow...

abt electrical chair, faced it in ummm first year of post grads to get a filling.... but it is weird sitting on a chair with ur mouth open... :P

tc

Nikki said...

@ R.Ramesh

Hope your German capping remains safe always! Hehehehe....

@ As the Mind Meanders

Whoa! Are they allowed that?

@ Arv

Hope that day never comes!

Nikki said...

@ Julia Smith

Lets hope I don't need to go to the dentists at all!

@ blunt edges

Lolz. Yeah practically all my milk teeth were gone! Lolz. I don't know why people choose to become dentists!

@ d gypsy!

I know how you feel! Hope you never have to go again!

ani_aset said...

hehe i'm sorry i'm laughing at your painful experience..but you are the one to be blamed..remember ogden nash :P

"IT's going to hurt just a little bit " :)

Nikki said...

@ ani_aset

Yeah laugh! But it was horrifying ya!

Aparna said...

At the risk of sounding a little superior, I must admit I have never had the need to visit the dentist for any problem. One look by the dentist and I am outta that chair! Thank god!

Ashwin Kumar B said...

Ouch !!! I dont know if I am lucky or not.. But had to face a dentist or (rather sit on an Electric Chair) only once..

But unfortunately ma Giju turns out to be Dentist...And hez after my life to get an annual check up done.. Yikess !!!

Nikki said...

@ Aparna

Touchwood! Lucky you!

@ Ashwin Kumar B

So far no dentists in the family! Keep your running shoes handy when he is around! Sigh...lolz

buckingfastard said...

damn teeth!!if dey hav 2 be soo touchy abt sweets and all...who askd dem to be in mouth in 1st place!!!

Nikki said...

@ buckingfastard

I totally agree with you! Lolz Thanks for stopping by!

The Spectacled Skeptic said...

i hate the dentist too!! arrghh...
totally identify with this post! lol

Nikki said...

@ The Spectacled Skeptic

Lolz Thanks!

Abhay said...

Hahaha I just can't stop laughing

I am happy that this feeling is not unique to me. Every one shares it. This would really made me less embarrassed when I visit the dentist next time....

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