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Knell or bell?

Whenever I think of marriage, my mind is dragged to this silly advertisement of the yore- Panpasand.

Shaadi aur tum se... kabhi nahi!
Then puts Pan pasand in her mouth...
Shaadi aur tum se [giggles] kabhi nahi!

This was the 80s ad. Now the television is bombarding us with Star Vivaah and, Bharat Matrimony and Shaadi.com. I think these complicate our lives further. As if entering the 20s was not enough. I remember the time I wore a saree for my Uncle's wedding. I was 18. Every old ladyat the wedding, told my mother, you should start looking now. She has grown up! Yeah right!!

My uncles went a step further and told me to have a good look around, see which boys I might like and tell them. Well, I was game and cheekily said, "If he is willing to give a solitaire when he proposes to me...well then maybe I will consider him!" That shut my uncles up for good.

I will be celebrating my 24th birthday in November. My aunt and Mama have been telling my mom, start looking. It is difficult to come across good boys these days. My aunt even asked my mum if she should talk to a marriage bureau. Also whether they would prefer a Bengali boy or a Gujrati boy [I am half gujju and half bong].

I guess I will have the last laugh! I have already met my Mr. Right!

I recently found out that a classmate delivered a baby boy. I was so happy and I told my mom. She was like "god! she already has a baby... and you are not even married!"
This was a shocker. My mum should not have said this as she was not really keen that I marry soon.

Enough about me.

Well my friends seem to be going through similar dilemmas.

A few of my classmates and I met up recently. One of them is doing her MBA. When she was done with her grads two years ago, her mother came up to her and asked whether they should start looking for boys. Well, my friend stated that either they get her married right away, else they wait till she finishes her MBA and two years of working. They relented because an MBA looks good on the girl's profile along with other adjectives like soft spoken, docile, homely etc.

She is nearing the completion of her course and now they want her to settle. Is marriage the ultimate goal? What does settling down mean? If she is an MBA and has a good job, is self sufficient, doesn't that mean she is settled? If a boy has all this, then he is settled.

Another friend of mine has met many prospective grooms but nothing has clicked so far. She apparently met a boy she really did like but things went awry. The boy is an IITian from Kharagpur. Her father said that a house is a pre-requisite. But he misintepreted the requirement as an enforced condition.

To add to the woes, the boy's elder sister says that the girl has good background but we did not much check her educational qualifications. What this mean? My pal here is a graduate from the best college in Mumbai and has a PG in Media Communications too. What educational qualifications is she lacking?

This whole business of searching for the right boy/girl is a facade according to me. I understand everyone cannot not have a love marriage. But why this whole grind of name calling or playing the homely chick? Why can't we be ourselves? Isn't the boy or girl going to find out the wild side of us [if any] eventually?

If you are going to spend your whole life with that person, shouldn't he or she know almost everything about you?

I know I will have to face this rubbish until I tell my folks about him. I think it is going to be soon.

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(Image only for representation purpose. Copyright lies with the artist. Not Waving but Drowning Fine Art Print - Trudi Doyle)



He walked, bare feet, on a mass of crushed sea-shells Coarse sand clung onto him, he watched her Afar; sitting motionless on a wind-beaten rock As if waiting for knell
'Wosh-wosh' screamed the waves Gloriously furious, crashing on the moss-covered dock They came high, they came low Yet slow, the sea so magnificent they seemed insignificant He watched her, sitting motionless As if waiting for knell
Ominous clouds o'er head played hide-n-seek with the moon threatening to steal light till noon He prayed, she'd move and he'd take her away
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Only to step deep into the waters
Now safe from the knell



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