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Showing posts from May, 2009

Knell or bell?

Whenever I think of marriage, my mind is dragged to this silly advertisement of the yore- Panpasand.
Shaadi aur tum se... kabhi nahi! Then puts Pan pasand in her mouth... Shaadi aur tum se [giggles] kabhi nahi!
This was the 80s ad. Now the television is bombarding us with Star Vivaah and, Bharat Matrimony and Shaadi.com. I think these complicate our lives further. As if entering the 20s was not enough. I remember the time I wore a saree for my Uncle's wedding. I was 18. Every old ladyat the wedding, told my mother, you should start looking now. She has grown up! Yeah right!!
My uncles went a step further and told me to have a good look around, see which boys I might like and tell them. Well, I was game and cheekily said, "If he is willing to give a solitaire when he proposes to me...well then maybe I will consider him!" That shut my uncles up for good.
I will be celebrating my 24th birthday in November. My aunt and Mama have been telling my mom, start looking. It is difficul…

I love you..

[He wrote this for me] that loving touch as you warm my cold arms that hold of yours
to be safe and to keep me safe
that little tug to take me there
uncertain if I may want to come
knowing that all you need is that
to make me run
that little raise of the brow
to tell me something u did not like
though u could have shouted
had it been someone else unlike
that little nudge on my chest
rub of ur nose to express discontent
that face you make
when i do something silly
and then smile at me
as if that is all u need from me
the way you see me eat feed me lovingly
as if you were having a treat
that little foreplay
that your fingers play with mine
sometimes light and sometimes divine
your soft skin tickling my stubble
your words galore when you start talking
like millions of rays from sun
sparkling my day

So much to say, and much more too
yea all this, and some more too
but we just always sum it up
by a quiet - I LOVE YOU!

Looking back..

Finally I have hundred posts here! Yaya... Lolz. I ave always been asked bout my blog address...why disillusioned? To answer that I would say that I don't feel so anymore but I prefer sticking to this address and the spelling of disillusioned is wrong. I always knew it but google wouldn't allow me this name any other way! 
Well I am just putting up a few links of the old posts which I really enjoyed writing. If you have the time have a dekho at them!
Poetry
Confessions of a heart brokenOde to a PervDrugged with KissesBalloonsPaper sail boats Prose
High on HeelsInto the unknown Part 1,2,3UntitledSex and CigarettesChicken FeverUmno, Jhumno and more…

100th Post - The Red Bloom

[This is my hundredth post. I thought about various things to write on and it got me nowhere. Hundreds of ideas wasted and lost. I was afraid I would become predictable. So if you think so too after you read this post, tell me so.]
The piercing shrill of the alarm jolted Karim out of his sleep. Fuck! The clock stood still at 7 AM. Bloody hell! It felt like he had just slept and now it was morning already. No more snoozing else the editor would have his ass for lunch!
Time to get up Karim...he remembered Shiren's sweet smile. But she was gone now. Good for her, the stupid cow. He thought. She had taken every single thing that would remind him of her. He had wanted it that way. So why was he thinking of her now? What was the point? No point. Waste of Time.
Time to get up mother fucker! But Karim could not get up. He suddenly felt weightless. His arms would not support him. It was 7 AM alright but it was pitch dark like the sun has forgotten to come by his window this morning.
The …

Infidelity...

[image courtesy: http://images-3.redbubble.net]
I lied about the idea block. I do not have a block of any kind. I couldn’t write which is true because I was avoiding this very thing. Now the “this very thing” is infidelity.I am not practicing this. I don’t have and hopefully will never have any reasons to do so. But there are so many people out there who are into it. It is very disturbing when you know everything and have to keep your mouth shut.I was meeting a friend recently and we were walking on a promenade when I saw someone I am very close to. They have a lovely child. At the first glance I thought I saw him and his wife. As I was about to wave out to them I realized it’s not his wife. It was the other woman. Now I do not know whether he saw me or not.There have been major fights in the past and his entire family knows all this. But he promised to come clean and work on their marriage for child’s sake. Not happening as far as I can see. So what makes people cheat on their spouses…

Stupid

I received a message on Facebook sometime back from a total stranger. 
It said "hey, did you like get a glamour shot ..... done or something .... and you went to one of those malls and got yourself clicked... dont you like have any of those normal snaps or something..... like you on your stairmaster or something ... stop fooling everyone .... let us see what you really look like..." [I have a similar pic put up on FB and these are no glamour shots...I just happen to be photogenic sometimes!]

I did not even reply back. How would you react? 

My doll..

Hello all,
I am suffering from an idea block. Lolz. Whatever that is. Actually a bit tied up...more like adjusting to a new routine of writing non-stop. I am not complaining. I like the work-o-holic atmosphere. I have a new mantra to unwind. I don't read [after the day ends..I can practically dunk my eyes balls in a glass of water] and I don't try writing fiction for Ire [ have deleted two potential stories. Thanks to someone's suggestions].
The best way to unwind is to go meet my three-year old nephew. He is such a doll!
No. Actually he is a little terrorist. Meet Master. Vivaan Chakraborty. He is three and can talk like he is my grand father. Has an opinion about everything. Believe me when I say everything. Once while he was visiting, I had a date so I dressed up and he was like:
why are you wearing this? [I was comfortably clad in a jeans and tee]
You should be wearing a frock! He made a face. But I had no frock but he still insisted on going through my cupboard.
Last ti…

Never crushed...

This was going to be a fiction story...but well. Actually Dreame3r's recent blog got me thinking about this. The one about crushes.
Recently all of us six cousins met up at Chints place [Chints is the oldest followed by me then sid, manu, chandu and ush]. We discussed random things, laughed, bitched and well, had a good time like always. Then someone [I do not remember who!] popped this topic of crushes. 
They all seem to have had crushes at some point of time at least. For fair skinned boy/girl who either dressed smartly or was plain hot. I had nothing to offer. 
"Ummm...I have never had a crush!" As soon as these words were out my mouth, they all roared with laughter. How can I be like this? No crushes? How come? Are you abnormal or what? Nopes. I just never liked smeone that way. Then we discussed how would we define a crush and all that. But I did not fit anywhere. Even my sister has had a crush [she seems wary of relationships yet!] and I am in a serious relationship-h…