Friday, 9 January 2009

Into the unknown Part III

[Read Part I & II]


What was he concentrating on? The people around him--he had no interest in them. The hustle-bustle in side the compartment did not perturb him. It was incredible how a tiny innocuous roach caught his attention.

How had it got in there? Without anyone squashing it with just one stomp of their foot? How could it scurry across without anyone noticing it or some woman shrieking? The roach was near someone’s shoes now and then on the leg of the seat. Slowly climbing up, hoping not to been seen; its antennas swinging awry in all directions. He wondered how it smelt its way to a scrap of food or garbage. It slowly climbed on the window pane. Everything went dark. The train was passing through a tunnel.

It was a long tunnel. As the train zoomed past, the narrow rays of the distant moonlight obstructed by the bars, cast an angular shadow on the roach. It remained still, perched on the window pane as the train continued to move in a subliminal speed.
It took a moment for the flickering lights in the compartment to come alive. It moved then, scurrying down quickly near the end of the seat. It was trying to squeeze itself into the cracked crevices in the aluminum of the compartment.

Could he too disappear in the same into an unknown crevice? No. Life was not so giving. The train moved on. The passengers got off, new ones came in and they got off too. But he sat there. He did not know his destination. He was relieved that he had no goal anymore. As he looked out, the sky above looked luminous with stars. And then the train took off rising above the ground unto the stars.


Far away the once empty platform was buzzing with activity. The lone stranger sitting on the steel bench, had died. He had no information on him. Nobody knew him. Only the stray pup and its mother stood near his body for a while and left.

8 comments:

Himanshu said...

Awesome template!!! Awesome post!

Loved every moment of the man's thoughts..

Waiting to read this in the short story book you getting published. Have u told others about it yet? ;)

humanobserver said...

poignant....However, so many quetions in my mind...Is it a fiction or what? It was you who was obeserving him so deeply and closely?

Nikki said...

@ Himanshu

Thank you.

@ Human Observer

It is fiction as I have mentioned it. The observation is a third person's view. It could be anyone.

To get a better understanding read Part II if you haven't.
Thanks.

iggy said...

Excellent! I loved it!!

The end, or more to come?

Nikki said...

@ Iggy

There will be more... but it is the end for the lone stranger.

Dreamcatcher said...

much wished you converged it in a full story..

and yeah damn good template..

Nikki said...

@ Dreamcatcher

Thank you! But I guess I couldn't carry on with it for now!

Vemana said...

Hey.
the flow of the story and the reflections of man were pretty good. However I see a minor problem in the timeline.

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