Well today was no different. Did just the same. And I can say I am kinda happy when I get to catch up on either Friends, Grey's Anatomy or Sex and the City. So today I managed to watch the last fifteen minutes of Sex and the City. I kinda find it cool. Also I will take the liberty of saying, that yes I relate my self to it. May be because I am [most of the times] fiercely independent. And I really enjoy it. It has been a real long time since somebody actually went out of their way to do something for me. I dont expect it.
I do live with my parents but after a certain I need my me time. Plus I will also only adapt to changes if and when I want. Not that changes are bad but if they pop up suddenly I feel my indepence is threatened. I am trying to make a point here. While watching the episode, Carrie entered her apartment and Aiden, her boyfriend was all set to surprise her. He had gotten her a new apple laptop which was blue along with a zip drive.
Her first reaction "but its blue! and pretty expensive. When did you get this?"
Aiden: " Just today plus I got you a zip drive so that you can start piling it up with your life"
CB: " But you didnt have to... I have my old computer. So what if it crashed. I am not giving up on it.It will be back."
Aiden: " But look, this is sleek and can be carried around like a handbag!"
CB: " But why should I switch my computer for a laptop. I dont need this. My whole life is on that computer. You just cannot get me to change overnight....."
Aiden, nods and CB:" What?"
Aiden: " So it is still about you ha ? All about you!"
CB: " Me? What else do you want? I gave you a key! A key to my apartment?
Aiden: " A Key? yeah, ok so I can enter your apartment but when will I get an entry there?" pointing to her heart.
bzzzz....Under normal circumstances I would have enjoyed the conversation further and be done with it. But I guess this affected me a lot more. Suddenly [ yaya!] I see similarity in CB and me. I know I would react to something new and so sudden in a similar fashion. It is not that I dont appreciate the effort. It is just that I am not prepared. I like to be in control and yes, composed all the time. Hence, when faced with such a situation I dont take to it kindly. I am saying all this because although I dont intend to hurt him, I would end up hurting him.
I have tried but it is very difficult for me to let him completely take care of me.
This episode suddenly had me worried. Because my love, yes I know loves me more than anything and everything, would be hurt. And I hate to hurt him. But I will try. I do like being taken care of sometimes, I admit. Plus when it comes from him, it is overwhelming.
Love you boo!