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Letters to the Unbeloved #10

Dear You,
You know right, its that face of yours, that expression that always gets me – the one where you want to be practical, angry and the man who cares a damn all at once, you’d melt away, giving in to your heart. That’s the most lovable part of you. I came to fall in love with that face and that simple heart. For a no-nonsense man of the world, you had a softer side. Your brooding looks coupled with a tad bit of cynicism, made you more humane. There was a chaotic calmness about you that drew me to you.
But, your constant niceties have now lost their charm and let others invade our world. What was innocent naivety is just foolhardiness now. It was you who once told that me that I am your world, far removed from the chaos of reality. But you have blurred the lines. You vowed to let of go of the toxicity and yet, today all it takes is a few tears and you are ready to let go of the past, ready to repeat the same mistakes.
Let me be clear; I won’t participate any longer. Today, I w…

Note to Self

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Right now, everything matters and nothing does. The whys, the whos, the whens, and the whats. It will hurt. You will feel winded. And if you don’t, I’d be amazed. Every nerve in your body will be alive and kicking. They will feel everything and nothing; the ones that don’t need attention and the ones that cry out loud. You will be numb, and you won’t do anything about either of them. They will stew, just like you.
In that big head of yours, a thousand thoughts will plan a marathon and forget to take off. One might do, and you’d feel as if your head will explode. Your stomach will hurt and so will your throat for that lack of gumption, and the missing voice and words.
You’d look over a ledge and want to take the plunge, yet, give it up for another day. Walking away, you will imagine how you would look splattered all over the pavement, the colors of your insides splashed all over. But no one will know what these colors feel or say. Today, it will seem like too much.
You will head out o…

I Wonder What Ants do on Rainy Days…

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Source: Google Images
On days when the sun has abandoned us, hiding behind the grey, moody clouds. Do they sit inside their hills and wonder out loud? Do they stare outside at the rain, measuring the raindrops, letting thoughts splotch all over? Does the earthy petrichor take them down the memory lane? Or are they content with what nature has to offer? It is a part of their lives, isn’t it? They dredge up foods daily, diligently build their hills, even if it is to serve their queen, only to enjoy it on days like this, no? Maybe they do take stock of things, of their bearings. They ought to sleep it off, take a day to rest or do they lament on the lost time?
Unlike me.
When I gaze out, a gazillion thoughts fly by; some worthy of the pen, some so disturbing that I often question my sanity. I like the grey skies though. They seem like textured canvases waiting for me to scribble something. The lazy raindrops wetting the streets below and casting a temporary stain on window ledges bring a…

Deafening Silence

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Fear Silence, for its resilient. It is supple, yet rigid too. It holds deep secrets.   Of things forgotten and things left unsaid. It will crush you, crumble and burn. It will shatter you, stamp and destroy, Silently, leaving no sign behind.

Fear silence, for it, will get you. It’s cold, clammy, hands will bind you. Drown you in the shallow seas of sorrow. When no salt is left in your tears, You will be empty, not light.
Fear silence, for it, will see you for who are, Leaving you no place to hide, Baring your soul to all. 

Letters To The Unbeloved #9

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Dear two-faced-girl,
You were highly recommended. I had only recently broken up with yet another girl who seemed to be my ‘one and only’ and was wasting away. I had lost all hope of ever finding the ‘right’ one until my friend who couldn’t bear to look at my sad face, recommended you. You seemed perfect from the word go.
Remember our first date? We hit it off – the park was the perfect setting. The awkward moments were swallowed by your giggles thanks to my silly dog who decided that the jogging park was the ideal place to take a dump. I thought I would lose you then. But you apparently had room for the weird. So strong are your memories of the park that I have never been able to go back to it, and the poor dog must make do with the car park for his dump site.
Do you ever wonder what went wrong? I think we both were polite, to begin with, and slowly opened up to each other. I talked to you about my day, and you spoke volumes about the people you hated at work. It seemed perfect until…

Summer Lust

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I have lusted after her for as long as I can remember. People speak of true love, smitten at first sight but for me, it was every bit lust. My desires, my dreams, my feelings… she drives me wild with frenzy. In fact, as soon as I realize, she is going to arrive, I feel my body stiffening. There are things I feel about her I cannot pen down; no, not because of its ‘adult’ nature but because I don’t know how to describe how I feel about her.
She is like no one else – born perfect as she is. Her curves, the buttery texture of her skin, her complexion! My days and nights are filled with her thoughts. I know if I could have my way with her, I could lose my mind. Whenever she is close or in the same room as I, I feel a strange tingling rush through me. Its like she knows she has that effect on me. Her scent, sweet, subtle and ripe like her. If I could make her mine, I’d run my fingers all over her, memorizing her body – every dip, swell and arch.
I do lust after her, but I feel she has the…

What are we becoming?

Today, I had a conversation with a colleague and the video on Harayana’s rape culture or rather what the natives of the state thought of rape became a point of discussion. My exact words were – what are we becoming? How can we think that rape is entirely a girl’s fault? Why is it accepted? His answer was simple – this is what the natives have seen, this is how they think, and hence, this is what happens. WHAT? Yes, apparently, the treatment women, what men see at home, they follow. Women follow the same as they look at their mothers, sisters, aunts, friends, etc. being treated shabbily and hence, it becomes an accepted norm.
He further added that the natives never harm their own women. Apparently, if they damage their own women, they will be beaten up or shot. The problem arises when they come across different cultures. The main issue though is the male-female ratio that is the lowest in Haryana. Poor women from remote parts of the country are bought and sold here, married off to mor…

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