Please Note: Absolutely aimless post. Read at your own risk.
Many moons ago I was once asked to write an essay on happiness. Yeah convent school nuns can be lame. Anyways, so I did write (with some inputs from my aunt who taught in another convent school then) and scored really well. In short, happiness to me back then was scoring high on my essay.
Please note English language was my only strong subject then…
But the idea of happiness changed with each passing year. At some point of time it was getting into a good college (never going to divulge my scores), then meeting the ‘cool’ friends, meeting the right guy (Thank god for him!) and landing the perfect job (another story altogether). Happiness is not constant. Over the past couple of years I have questioned myself over and over again about this bloody damn thing.
Happiness; this nine letter word is huge. Huge in terms of the stuff it includes. Emotional, material, mental, physical and god knows what! Frankly, I have no idea if I am truly or anybody is truly happy. Right now I couldn't care less.
This very question has led to me to very many fights, endless days of frustration and pushed me into abyss of nothingness. Yes, the tryst for happiness can do that to you. Again, you might say happiness or being happy would completely depend upon your definition of happiness…whatever that is. So what is the definition of happiness?
My friend R finally responded to my frantic mails/chat pings/calls after months of hibernation. Why did she go into hiding? Simply because she too was lost in the bottomless pit of unhappiness and is looking for ‘happiness’. So what is her definition? Probably find the right guy, fall in love, get married, be cared for, have a sense of belonging and more…Yes, it all sounds beautiful and it would be had she been meeting new people or searching for this right guy in the earnest. No, sweetie Prince Charming won’t just appear out of thin air! You have to try to catch him or rather trap him…
Another friend, let’s call her B, is not sure what career she should pick. One day she prefers the written word and is confident it would pay her, the other day it feels like the worst choice ever. Is she happy? No, she is quite a cribber about it. So what is the solution? First, to stop cribbing and then…she would have to try. She would first have to try to get a job, read any job!
Then come I – married the man I wanted but not the M-I-l. I have the job I wanted to do but it doesn’t pay as much as I would like it to. Not sure. Why? Because life happened to us and how! We have tensions, familial wars to fight, acceptance issues, and so much more.
So what I am trying to say here? Nothing! Because I am only ranting! Apart from reading this nonsensical blog we could all do one thing – get real and live in reality. First, let’s not define it as it gives us an illusion which has no place in real lives. Second, stop cribbing, i.e. attain nirvana. Third, stop reading this post and do something you really like… have a chocolate? Watch a cartoon show? Eat unhealthy Chinese food? Read a good book? Gah. Go on decide and stick to it… only then shall you be happy.